3 Problems with Condoms (Why They Suck & How to Make It Better)
Practicing safe sex falls into a particular category of intangible health risks for me. Eating sugar, getting too much sun, and smoking also fall into this category. They are all things we know we should avoid because they are bad for our health.
However, the negative health effects are not immediately tangible. Over the years these types of health risks have becomes the hardest for me to avoid.
Especially when it comes to practicing safe sex.
For a guy, wearing a condom is akin to getting a cavity filled without the use of Novocaine, in reverse. The Novocaine, thankfully, masks the pain and feeling in your mouth. This is also the case when a guy wears a condom during sex. He essentially can’t feel anything. Better yet, a condom is like Novocaine for your penis.
Risk Vs Reward
When you wear a condom you give up the immediate benefit of pleasure for protection from future un-pleasurable events. Logically this makes perfect sense. If I’m going to partake in something risky then I’d be wise to protect myself as best I can. The problem arises when having sex with a condom as a whole is less pleasurable than not having sex at all.
For some, it is hard to imagine that having sex with a condom can be less enjoyable than having no sex at all.
However, there are equally as many guys who know what about talking about.
Almost every guy I know dreads wearing a condom.
We all know how important it is to wear one, but when it comes time to put it on we’d rather not.
A simple solution to this problem is to not wear a condom at all. In fact, I’ve tried this method out for myself. The problem is most girls won’t let you have sex with them without using a condom, and rightfully so. The consequences of not wearing one can be life changing.
This goes back to my original problem. I know it’s important, but in the moment it is hard to quantify what could possibly go wrong.
I’ve since come to terms with the fact that I have to wear condoms. I also know that I don’t trust myself in the moments before sex to make the best decision on contraception. Instead, I’ve had to address each problem with using condoms. By doing this I discovered a few things that have made wearing condoms not that bad. It’s not the real thing but it’s made sex with a condom a no brainer.
Commit to Condoms
One problem I have with using condoms is the performance anxiety that comes with it. Anyone who’s had sex with a condom knows that it can be a bit of a process to put one on. Lots of things can, and will, go wrong. All the while you are expected to keep your penis hard as a rock.
When you finally do get the condom on you’re just happy that it’s half as hard.
Eventually, this would lead to me ditch the condom and, if the girl agreed, to continue without one. The next morning, of course, I would regret my actions from the previous night. Not only that, but the feeling of sex without a condom would be burnt into my memory.
This would spill into the next time I would have sex. I would plan on practicing safe sex, but when the time came I wouldn’t. Or, I would put the condom on knowing after a while it would rip or I would just take it off. This lead me to constantly chase pleasure and completely forget about the consequences.
If you plan on having sex and you want to practice it safely by wearing condoms then make a commitment to do so.
When you commit to wearing condoms during sex no matter what it changes your mentality. Having sex without no longer becomes an option. Instead, you have to take the time to become good at putting on a condom. I realized that I was using unprotected sex as an easy way out of learning how to use them properly.
When you commit to wearing them it takes out the guess work.
Surprisingly, by giving myself no other options I become more comfortable using them.
Also, over time it feels better. Don’t get me wrong, it will never feel as good as having natural sex. However, over time you will become more sensitive with a condom on. I’ve also learned to derive pleasure from other senses, not just the feeling in my dick. I quickly learned to become more aware of the smells, sights and other touches that are a part of sex.
(The easiest way to avoid the staying hard issue with condoms is to pop a tiny bit of Viagra.)
Condoms Have Sizes?
It still baffles me that most guys don’t know that condoms come in a wide range of sizes. Both in length and width. The newest trend has introduced a wide range of shapes into condoms as well. If you’re going to commit to using condoms every time you has sex then you want to make sure you are wearing the right size condom.
For the longest time, I thought condoms were supposed to fit really tight. What I didn’t realize was that regular condoms didn’t fit me properly. I vividly remember a girl laughing at me one time as I struggled to fit a tiny condom on. The next day I went and bought X-Large condoms. The feeling was like night and day. Now, I always check the size before I buy condoms.
You can find your condom size in 3 easy steps here. I’ve tried measuring to find my size, but I still had to adjust the size they gave me. For me ordering a few different size condoms and trying them on is still the best way.
The most important number to pay attention to is the width. The other numbers don’t really matter as long as the width is big enough to fit you properly.
This last tip took years to figure out and it’s so simple I feel like an idiot for not figuring it out sooner. After you’ve found the condom size and type that fits you best order up at least 50. 50! Yes, order up 50 or more condoms.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve reached for a condom only to find that I’m completely out.
One day I got so fed up with it I went online and ordered up 100+ Crown Skinless condoms. I went around and put condoms in every conceivable place where I might reach for one. I’ve never had a problem finding a condom since.
If you’re going to make a commitment to wear condoms then making sure you have condoms is step one. It seems simple but I still hear guys say, “I didn’t have a condom”. If you’re going out, get a condom carrying case to protect them.
Have plenty of condoms next to your bed and anywhere else you think the deed might go down.
One thing to note is the expiration date. When you buy from a trusted retailer you should get fresh condoms. A new condom should come with at least a 3-4 year expiration date. That way you don’t have to worry about your condoms going bad. If you are buying old stock from a local gas station you’ll be lucky if the condoms not completely expired.
In closing, sex with condoms doesn’t have to be a dreadful process. Use these tips to help you have a healthy, safe and pleasurable sex life.
What tips do you have for practicing safe sex? Leave them in the comments below.
P.S.: You can read Ben’s review of Crown Skin Skinless condoms here.
P.P.S.: I order my condoms here.